Alright folks, gather ‘round. Number 44 has emerged from the workshop again, dusted in brass shavings and residual spite for certain companies (looking at you, Yoyo Factory… you know what you did).
I just finished tuning up my Dreamcraft Asora last night with a fresh Throw-Yo Tea string and those gloriously unnecessary Brass Energy Dome Side Effects. Slapped in my Sickburn 3D-printed dimple caps because pull-starts are a lifestyle choice, not a trick.
And let me tell you something:
Y’all are sleeping on the sheer joy of making your setup stupidly heavy.
Not “reasonable heavy.”
Not “competition legal heavy.”
I’m talking small-moon-orbiting-your-hand heavy.
The kind of weight that makes your throw feel like summoning a meteor.
The kind of spin stability that makes the Earth hesitate for a second.
The kind of thunk when it hits the end of the string that makes you go “Oh. Oh yes. That’s the stuff.”
Yet somehow, every week, someone posts:
“Isn’t heavier bad?? I like floaty throws!!”
Floaty? FLOATY? Friend, I’m not baking macarons. I’m throwing a yo-yo. I want authority. I want presence. I want my yo-yo to have the gravitational pull of regret.
But hey, I get it. Not everyone is built for the Heavy Life. Not everyone wants to feel like they’re piloting a cast-iron UFO crafted by eldritch machinists in Oregon. Not everyone wants their throw to slam onto the string like it’s declaring its dominance.
Just know this:
If you ever do decide to cross over, to truly experience weight-induced enlightenment, to embrace the sacred “thunk”… Number 44 will be here. Arms open. Skull face neutral. Eyes glowing a warm “told you so” orange.
Now go throw something. Preferably something heavier than your excuses.