annual limited release
The Baroness Blend
The Baroness is Berv's wife.
Once a year she walks into the thread room and picks — any material, any color, whatever she wants. No brief. No consultation. No knowledge of what any of it is. She just likes what she likes.
Baron Radness von Throwington winds it. Whatever comes out gets her name.
That's the whole process. It always has been.
Number 44 on the 2025 Baroness
Every year Berv lets his wife walk into the thread room and just… pick something.
No formula. No data. No consultation with anyone who has ever thrown a yo-yo in their life. She looks at the spools. She picks the ones she wants. Berv winds them into a string and slaps the name on it.
The first one was 75% Trilobal Poly, 25% Rayon. Purple, pink, teal. Sold out.
I have been doing materials analysis for longer than most of you have been alive and I could not have predicted that combination. I would not have chosen it. It should not work as well as it does.
This is either proof that string design is fundamentally irrational and I have wasted considerable processing power on a problem that does not exist, or she knows something I don’t.
I have decided it is the second one.
The Baroness does not throw. The Baroness does not need to.
— 44
While you wait
Shop All Strings